Emotional affair

Thanks again doing a cohesive final project around emotional issues, I'm so buried in the same books and articles that discuss all about the intricacies of emotion (ie human emotion, so far not been interested in for studying animal emotions, hehe) . Well, one of which I read is Emotional Infidelity or lack of emotional loyalty (a popular term of 'disloyal' not cheating, I mean yo wes just be an emotional affair
Apparently, according to sources that I read, the actual affair, almost all of whose names begins an emotional affair. But, on average they are caught cheating, at first did not realize that they have been first trapped in an emotional affair. Because usually, they are unconsciously took refuge in one of the 'shield ego' so-called defense mechanisms to keep saying to yourself and your partner that "he cuman friend!".
In fact, in the era of 'mixed' today, where all forms of communication between men and women are not restricted to any, anyone (including us) were exposed accidentally trapped in an emotional affair. For according to experts, an emotional affair can be started from anywhere and with the most simple greeting like 'hi or hello', can be started from the meeting rooms, office lobbies, bus stops, or even from the chatroom.
Therefore, for the more interested we are not far into the circle of the actual affair, let's recognize the signs of emotional infidelity. If it turns out we feel one of the sign is to proceed in our lives, so let us know: D, but if it turns out none of the signs that is happening within us, so let us be grateful and constantly improving 'alertness self', hehe ...
1. Start secretiveEveryone has a secret, it's a natural thing and it is allowed. But try to remember-remember, if you start to cover up little by little your friendship relationship with one's partner (husband / wife)? If so, try asking why? Then ask also, if you begin to cover the details of the relationship that friendship? Like for example, when the couple asked "when was the last contact at A?" (Consider this wrote A person who I mentioned earlier) and then you say "wow, already forgotten, long wong really", when in fact it was two hours ago you call- telponan as the A's. Although maybe you have a specific purpose to lie (let's say you think it is for the good), you must start vigilant, did lie to the good as you intended? Said one expert, the couple should not be secretive with their partners about best friends, although it is perceived will really hurt, anger or make you jealous. Honesty and trust like this is non-negotiable requirement, defeated or were sacrificed in the fostering of a household.
2. Moving BeliefEveryone, especially the names of women, would need a place to pour out feelings (vent) when it is overwhelmed with a problem. But try to think back, if you begin to pour out the things that should be a household secret to outsiders (especially the opposite sex)? Things like sexual intimacy, a difference that can not be reconciled, household financial problems or details about the weaknesses of the couple, should not be entrusted to someone else. If you feel your partner started complaining to a friend (of the opposite sex with you), be careful, should not proceed. But if you protest "how then? vent to his feelings make plong, she could understand me ", it means you are already emotionally unfaithful to your spouse.
3. Start ComparingThen, try to think of it as well, if lately you consciously or not begin to compare your spouse with someone else? For example, the comparison was limited to your imagination as "if my wife sexy the A" or "try klo my husband patiently as the B". Only in dreams alone, the habit of comparing is to be categorized as the embryo of non-loyalty, especially if she came out. Once or twice comparison may not be a problem, but if a habit, it is a sign of danger. Because someone who is used to compare will become increasingly discontent against his partner.
4. Quality TimeLike what time you normally spend with your spouse? Are limited liability as husband and wife? Was just doing a routine? Is it only on the basis of necessity such as going to an event for the children? Or do you still like dating both, without children, without family or other friends? Then try to remember-remember, whether you are involved with activities outside without your partner? As such lobbying office guests at a cafe that is usually at the expense of time for couples / families? Moreover, if such date is just the two different sex partners, be careful, you should invite lots of friends or your partner, or do not do at all.
5. Start InterestedNow, try to be true to yourself. Are you becoming interested in one of your friends because it looks so special? Or are you becoming interested in how to do something? Or the way he greets you? If so, close your eyes and pull a deep breath, get back your emotional focus attention only on your partner. And do not forget the many-many are praying to be kept away from the temptations of such emotions.
If in your marriage life, there is only one of the 5 things above, try to realize, do not try to hide behind the shield ego by trying to find justification for what you do. And if there are 3 of the 5 things above in your married life, do not delay, get professional help, can be religious leaders or marriage counselor.
Next, try to see some of these tips, for the emotional bond you and your partner tied the stronger:
1. Respect your partner with a start more open to couples of opposite sex friends you. Do not keep any small things you do with your friend. This is to show that there's nothing special between you and your friends who deserve your cover from your partner. In other words, no one else that makes you willing to lie to your soul mate.2. Keep your partner's secret. If there are things that make you upset, try to talk openly with your partner. Expressed disappointment and hope you are sporty. Show that even though he has made you disappointed, but you still love him and will always give him a chance to improve themselves. Or if the weakness is not something that can be fixed, then forgive, and accept your partner as it is.3. Stop comparing your spouse with another person, even though it was only in about a utopian! Habit of comparing, without you knowing you will only make love to your partner has narrowed. Your partner probably is not the best, but yakinilah that he is the best for you. This philosophy, in addition will add your affection towards your partner, will also make you aware of yourself and stop thinking "I should get better."4. Perhaps you are a super busy, so 24 hours a day 7 days a week, it was not enough to cover your busy life is. But no matter how busy you are, try to spend more time for couples. For instance sitting alone for 30 minutes every day to chat about anything, when the kids were asleep. Or take advantage of the weekend for a date alone with a partner, without having to talk about children, especially household work. Or spend an hour of your time on Sundays to do activities together with partners, such as cooking or washing clothes or other activity that seems trivial but if done together with a partner will lead to emotional closeness.5. Show commitment to your spouse every day. Do something meaningful to your spouse every day. Can be a message of love or a call. Do not make a habit of this as a burden, but make a habit of fun. Doing something to remind your partner throughout the day, how special he is to you. Focus on the things that made your partner's sweet to you, and remember, that for the relationship can grow and develop, it takes time and effort. Save lots of photos of your partner and your children on your desk / office as a visual reminder to you and others about your priorities.6. If you must go out of town to carry out office tasks, put some photos of your spouse or your family in a hotel room. You do not need photographs to avoid adultery, but need to be veiled in love, and the photos can help you to stay focused, that how much love you have in your life, even when your family is much in the eye.